from Flickr by wentloog
I’ve been thinking about the balance of work and friends. I think a lot of the time I don’t end up hanging out with my own friends on the weekend because ‘my friends’ are also ‘work people’. I don’t have old friends from ages past who know me well because they all live back in the country and I haven’t really kept in touch. So what do I do? I find myself floating on the edge of about 5 groups, all of which usually overlap with work, and none of which I’m necessarily a driving force in, so it is easy to pull back. Which then means I’m not as connected, as involved, or as supported as I need to be, and I’m not engaging with people honestly.
What do we consider to be friends? Why do we search out the relationships we have? What do we bond over? What do we connect through? All these questions reflect our great desire to be in relationship. We were made in God’s image and God exists in relationship, thus it is a good thing to desire that connection we feel with people when we are friends with them. But why does that lonely feeling still seem to surround and envelope when we retract from our friends?
If we believe that God’s Spirit dwells within us, connects us to the Father through the Son, how then can we ever feel lonely? Our consciousness tells us that we are alone, but in reality, God is always with us. Why do we not turn to him for companionship and friendship then? Should we? Can we?
If we surround ourselves with friends, whether in quality or quantity, what then does this mean for us? Are we bound to feel more lonely when they are gone? And this is nothing to say of the selfishness that encompasses this thought of ‘where are MY friends?’ and ‘why am I lonely?’
Is there in fact a deliberate move away from the reality of relationship that is servant-heartedness and towards a consumerist view of friendship? Are we (and in this I’m mainly talking to myself) treating our friendships as something that we take from and not give to? Or is it (for me at least) a pull for some kind of connectedness and care for myself because we give so much in our relationships? Are we giving all and not receiving? Are we expecting to receive something in return in our friendships? What do we expect?
